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I am back after a short hiatus. I don’t even know how long it has been. Right now, I am in the middle of an emotional breakdown.

There is a time where those of us are faced choosing between life and death in a relationship and I chose to suffocate. No matter how much evidence is in my face, no matter how bad it got, no matter how many times I cried. I chose asphyxiation. There are no pity parties for people like us. We carry this in our hearts like a dirty secret, an anvil in my chest. We choke back tears and hide in our rooms replaying sad love songs. And we carefully monitor our phones and computers for texts, calls and emails we will never receive.

This is not a suicide note by the way. I will live while I am dying inside.